Do You Hate Me Or Do You Just Hate Your Story About Me?
I've got an experiment for you to try.
DISCLAIMER: This may be triggering to you so try at your own discretion.
Think of something or someone that always seems to trigger you and bring about "negative" emotions. Maybe it's a past experience, a current situation, or maybe it's a past or current relationship.
Firstly, just see it for what it is and acknowledge and embrace any sensations, thoughts, or feelings that arise. Breathe into them. Allow them to move without force or judgement. Know that your experience is perfectly valid and okay.
Next, imagine seeing that situation or person as if you were an uninvolved bystander seeing it/him/her for the first time.
Now imagine that this bystander had no concept of good or bad, right or wrong. This bystander just saw everyone and everything exactly how it is in the present moment with no labels or ideas about how things should or ought to be.
Imagine that this bystander was just pure awareness and unconditional love.
Now how would you react as this bystander seeing things for the first time without placing any labels or judgments?
Ask yourself (as you): Am I seeing this situation or person as it/he/she really is or am I only seeing it through the lens of the stories/judgments I've created about it?
My aim is not to tell you that how you choose to see something is right or wrong, good or bad, but only to invite you to see how much energy we put into the ideas we have about things without considering if those ideas are really true -- or useful for that matter.
Go through this exercise a few times with multiple different scenarios if needed/desired. I'd then invite you to journal about your experience.