Knowing When To STOP And When To GO

When you come across a traffic light while you're driving it's pretty obvious what you should do.

Green means GO; red means STOP; yellow means "fuck it, let's go for it" (partially kidding).

Either way, as long as you're paying attention you can pretty reliably make it to where you wanna go.

But what would happen if you're not paying attention or you're unfamiliar with what the signs mean or you just blatantly disregard?

You guessed it -- you may not make it to where you're trying to go.

Believe it or not, your body-mind is constantly give you signs and signals as to how it's doing and what its needs are.

The challenge is that many of us have either stopped paying attention, are unfamiliar with what the signs means, or have chosen to blatantly disregard.

As you can imagine this leads to a lot of trouble and a lot of people not getting to where they're trying to go.

It's tough because these signs are often much subtler than our instrument of awareness has been tuned to pick up and register. An illness is often preceded by several days or weeks of mismanaged stress; cancer is often preceded by years of unexpressed guilt, resentment, and/or anger.

The beautiful thing is that when you grow your awareness and begin to learn the language of your body-mind, you'll be able to accommodate for your wants and needs while they're still whispers instead of loud screams. The intelligence has always been there. You just need to open yourself back up to it.

But if you've ever taken on any meaningful endeavor, you've likely come to the realization that sometimes you need to GO when everyone else is stopped and you need to STOP when everyone else is going.

As an athlete (or anyone pursuing a high level of performance in any realm), sometimes it's necessary to push yourself when you want to stop and to stop when you want to push yourself.

So how do you know the difference?

There's many different ways I can answer that question, and I will likely take a deeper dive on an upcoming podcast, but for now let me just share my direct experience:

There's a subtler language beyond the body-mind that is the voice of the heart/soul. This voice is not only concerned with your physical well-being; it's the voice guiding you to your highest potential on all levels of existence.

To me this voice often feels like a gentle, loving tug that's usually pulling me to places I've been afraid to go. But I've learned to listen because I've always come out a better man every time I've entered the caves I've been afraid of.

Because of this, I've been able to push myself harder and longer than I ever thought possible. At the same time I've been able to rest more deeply than ever before.

Life happens in complimentary opposites so always be mindful of both sides of the equation. Give yourself the space and the resources to push when it's time to GO -- even if that means you're sore, tired, and mentally and emotionally exhausted. Also, give yourself the space and resources to slow down and rest when it's time to STOP -- even if you feel like you can keep going.

Your heart/soul will guide you to where you need to be. And if you end up inviting the Pain Teacher, know that that too is part of the journey for you to grow your awareness to the ever subtler signs and signals of your body-mind-soul.

Happy Dreaming,

With Love,

NB

The Biggest Obstacle Holding You Back Is...

In all my years as a coach/therapist/athlete, I've come to realize that the majority of the challenges people face can be boiled down to just a few basic things.

One of those is the stories you've been telling yourself about who you are, where you came from, why you're here, and how you're 'supposed' to engage with life and those around you. These stories shape the thoughts you have and the meaning you give to the events in your life which influence the emotions you experience and the actions you take.

Fortunately and unfortunately, almost all of those stories you're living out are not your own -- they've been handed to you by your parents, teachers, churches, political leaders/influencers, and society as a whole.

Meditate on that for a moment:

The way in which you've been living your life is based on stories/beliefs that are not your own.

This begs the question, "Whose life have I been living?"

The good news is that even though you may not have consciously chosen these stories, you can consciously choose to change them any time you want.

And so all of the challenges you've been facing in the many different areas of your life (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, relationships, financial, business, etc.) can be traced back to certain thought patterns that stem from certain beliefs/stories that shape the way you perceive and experience events in your life.

One of the simplest examples of this is to watch how you feel and what thoughts arise when you spend money.

Do you feel constricted and find yourself cycling through thoughts of scarcity and lack?

Or do you feel open and flowing and grateful for the abundance of life?

What stories are behind that?

Hint: both versions are equally right and true to the extent that you believe that they are.

My job as a coach/therapist isn't to tell you how to live your life; but only to act as a mirror to show you if what you say you want for yourself is aligned with the beliefs that you're choosing to subscribe to. The gap in between those stories and what you say you want is what Rudolf Steiner calls your "Story Gap." Within this gap is the misalignment that invites the Pain Teacher.

If you want to take a deeper dive on this topic, check out the recent video I made here.

With love,

NB

Getting What You Want AND Wanting What You Get

Maxwell Maltz in Psycho-Cybernetics says:

"Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. "

As most of us know all too well, sometimes you get exactly what you want and you realize it's not what you wanted at all.

Sometimes you don't get what you want and you realize it was exactly what you needed.

Sometimes you don't get what you want and you realize you already have everything you could ever want.

But my question is how can we have both?

How can you achieve the success of getting what you want while also experiencing the happiness of wanting what you get?

I don't claim to have the one true answer to this question, but I can provide my experience.

In my experience, happiness comes first.

There are people with next to nothing that are filled with love and joy and there people who have everything they want and yet are miserable. So happiness isn't dependent upon "success" in the traditional sense of acquiring material things.

Happiness is your ability to be at peace with the is-ness of whatever life is presenting you.

If you don't have a want for anything, you already have everything you want.

Desire is the seed of misery because as soon as there's desire there's a declaration that there is something outside of yourself that you don't have; and therefore there's a possibility that you won't be able to get that thing and the desire will be unfulfilled.

But I don't want no-thing. I want everything.

So the harmony of the success and happiness comes when you can simultaneously have a great desire and will to fulfill that desire, while at the same time being in total acceptable of exactly where you're at.

In my life this looks like creating the structures that allows me to show up and do the work I feel called to do to move me towards my version of success, while continuously reminding myself that where I'm at is exactly where I'm supposed to be.

I want everything AND I want none of it.

In my experience, however, this only comes when you are in connection with your purpose -- your soul's yearning to co-create an experience of it-Self.

Take the call to adventure and go on the journey, but don't forget that you can only be exactly where you're at.

Always with you,

NB